The Plague of Prejudices

Published in "Hiba" magazine
www.hibamagazine.com

In the early seventh century, Prophet Muhammad (sa) in his Farewell Address sternly advised his followers that all people are created equal: “All humans are descended from Adam and Eve, there is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab, or of a non-Arab over an Arab, and no superiority of a white person over a black person or of a black person over a white person, except on the basis of personal piety and righteousness.”

This sermon highlighted the basic religious and ethical ideals for maintaining a society based on justice and equality. The Prophet (sa) was well aware of ill feelings that have plagued the human kind since the time of Habeel and Qabeel. Prejudices due to race, nationality, age, gender, religion and social class have been rampant throughout the ages. However, in today’s global world with its increasing mixing of populations, the prejudices are hitting record highs. Let us take a closer look at the prejudices, reasons of their formation and ways to overcome them.   

Formation of Prejudices

Prejudices are unjustified or incorrect attitudes (usually negative) we have toward our fellow human beings based solely on an individual’s belonging to any social group. Prejudices influence, how we behave towards other people and interact with them, often even unconsciously without ourselves realizing it.

Under the influence of prejudices, we tend to think that every person of a certain group carries the characteristics of that entire group (“they are all the same” attitude) and fail to look at each person as a unique individual. Commonly prejudices are expressed through negative feelings, stereotyped beliefs and an inclination to discriminate against members of a particular group. In severe cases, prejudices may result in violence.

Generally, prejudices are based on stereotypes, which are simplified assumptions about a group, resulting from one’s prior experience or beliefs. Psychologists claim that stereotypes emerge as part of normal human thinking in the process of trying to make sense of the world around us and sorting information (people, ideas, objects, etc.) into mental categories. Such categorizing of information makes our life easier, because it allows to interact and react quickly, but it may also lead to mistakes and thus result in negative prejudices, especially when we feel uncomfortable about a situation.

Overcoming Prejudices

Western psychologists have suggested a variety of ways for overcoming and possibly even eliminating prejudices. Some of them are:

1)      training people to become more empathetic in general;
2)      increasing contact with members of other social groups;
3)      making people aware of the inconsistencies in their own beliefs;
4)      gaining public support for anti-prejudice social norms;
5)      passing laws that would grant equal treatment of all groups of people.

As a comprehensive way of life, Islam offers us ethical guidance on interaction with others – the Quran and the Sunnah put forth teachings, by observing which Muslims can cut the menace of prejudice in its root, without ever letting it bloom. 

1)      Empathy

Abu Hamzah Anas bin Malik (rtam) has narrated that the Prophet (sa) said: “None of you will believe, until you love for your brother what you love for yourself.” (Bukhari, Muslim)

Love for your brother what you love for yourself command embodies empathy that prevents prejudices from forming – if we step into the shoes of others and care for them like we care for ourselves, we will not develop superiority complex or condescending attitude. Naturally, we will see them as our equals. 

 

2)      Interaction with Other Social Groups

“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbour, the neighbour farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful.” (An-Nisaa 4:36) 

This verse of the Quran encompasses a powerful command for interaction with different social groups – right after our duties to Allah (swt), we have to do good to those around us. Thus, our social interaction should not be marred by negativity or ill feelings towards anyone but rather guided by our efforts of creating a positive environment – doing good to all. Following this advice will not only help us ourselves become a better human being but will change the attitude of others towards us as well – it truly is hard to harbour prejudices towards a person, who does good to you.

The Prophet (sa) said: “The best friend in the sight of Allah is the friend who is best to his friends; and the best neighbour is the neighbour who is best to his neighbours.” (Tirmidhi)

We must remember that neigbours are not only those, who live in the same building with us or have a house next to ours. Your roommate may be your neighbour, your office colleague may be your neighbour, and even the person sitting next to you on the bus may be your neighbour at that point of time.

3)      Advising Others Against Evil

Allah (swt) says in the Quran: “You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah.” (Aal-Imran 3:110)

If first two guidelines for eliminating prejudices focused on our own selves, then the third one calls to action regarding others. Enjoining good and forbidding evil is a basic duty of every Muslim. Thus, if we see anyone displaying prejudices, we should actively advise such person against it. However, while giving this sincere advice, we should take care to avoid the pitfall of condemning, as it may lead to our own display of superiority. Maintaining this fine line between the two may not be easy but can be learned and consciously put into practice. 

The Prophet (sa) said: “Oh, you, group of people, that believe with your tongues, while not with your hearts! Do not abuse the Muslims nor seek after their faults. For indeed, he who seeks after their (other people’s) faults, Allah will seek after his faults. And whomsoever has Allah seek after his faults, He will expose them, even if he may have committed them in the privacy of his own home.” (Ahmad, Dawood)

We must also remember that Allah (swt) regards Muslims as Auliya (allies, helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of each other: “The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong…” (At-Taubah 9:71). Therefore, it is our duty to be genuinely concerned about our brothers and sisters in faith, steering free from any prejudices. May Allah (swt) help us all to uphold the standards set for us by Prophet Muhammad (sa) in his farewell sermon, ameen.

"The Signs before the Day of Judgement" by Ibn Kathir

Author: Ibn Kathir
Title: "The Signs before the Day of Judgment" (96 p.)
Publisher: Dar Al Taqwa Ltd.
Availability:
http://www.simplyislam.com/iteminfo.asp?Item=1209 (£ 4.46)
http://onlineislamicstore.com/b2989.html ($ 8.25)

“Draws near for mankind their reckoning, while they turn away in heedlessness” (Surah Al-Anbiya 21:1).

According to Abu Hurayrah, the Prophet said: “By Him, Who sent me with the Truth, this earth will not pass away, until people are afflicted with landslides, are pelted with stones, and are transformed into animals.” The people asked: “When will that be, o Messenger of Allah?” He said: “When you see women riding in the saddle, when singers are common, when men lie with men and women with women.” (al-Haythami, “Kitab al-Fitan”)

High-rise buildings in the Middle East, break-up of family structure, increased frequency of earthquakes, divisions within the Muslim Ummah… What to expect next? Where do we stand at the moment in Allah’s magnificent plan for this world and the entire universe? What signs are yet to come before the hour of the final reckoning? Ibn Kathir’s “The Signs before the Day of Judgment” describes the events revealed by Allah and foretold by our Prophet (saw).

Ibn Kathir (701 - 774 AH), one of the leading Islamic scholars of the 8th century, was a student of Ibn Taymiya and Ibn al-Qayyim. Thanks to his excellent memory, he became known as Qadi, a master scholar of Hadeeths, and a Mufassir or Quran commentator. Based on narrations of authentic Hadeeths and Tafsir of the Companions, Ibn Kathir’s commentary on the Quran (“Tafsir ibn Kathir”) is among the best and most widely used ones today.

“The Signs before the Day of Judgment” is a translated into English extract from Ibn Kathir’s 14 volumes work under the name of “Al-Bidayah wa-Nihayah.” “Al-Bidayah” is a history book, consisting of three main sections: (1) pre-Islamic period of Jahiliyyah (ignorance), revelation of the Quran, and formation of the Muslim community; (2) period of the rightly guided Caliphs and Muslim dynasties, including the lifetime of the author; (3) predictions about the end of the world.

During translation, “The Signs before the Day of Judgment” have been edited and adapted to the relevance level of the modern English-speaking reader. The Hadeeths this book contains are carefully selected for specifically illustrating the signs, warnings, and disasters that will occur in the last days of this world. The book consists of 28 chapters, which describe such topics as the Fitan (tribulations) of the last days, the greater signs of the Hour, the appearance of Mahdi and Dajjal, the descent of Jesus, the appearance of Gog and Magog, the destruction of Kabah, and the emergence of the Beast. It describes also the natural signs of rising of the sun from the West, the smoke at the end of the times, and the heavy rain before the Day of Resurrection. The final chapter of the book pays special attention to the people, who will be alive at the end of time.

The fact that many signs mentioned in ibn Kathir’s work have already taken place indicates the alarming closeness of the last days. May Allah instill in the hearts of the believers a genuine wish to look beyond the events described in this book and prepare themselves for the meeting with the Lord of the Worlds.

Avots: http://www.hibamagazine.com/

"The Road to Makkah" by Muhammad Asad

Author: Muhammad Asad
Title: "The Road to Makkah" (380 p.)
Publisher: Dar Al-Andalus, 1985
380 pages

“A very rare and powerful book, raised completely above the ordinary by its candor and intelligence… And what we gain is a cultural reorientation which should permanently affect our view of the world” (New York Post).

“… a Muslim’s acquiescence to fate relates to the past and not to the future: it is not a refusal to act, to hope and to improve, but a refusal to consider past reality as anything but an act of God” (The Road to Makkah 159).

Those familiar with the history of Pakistan will easily recognize the name of Muhammad Asad – an extraordinary man, who worked together with the great poet-philosopher Muhammad Iqbal on the idea of Pakistan, when it was no more than a visionary dream, and implemented the ideals of Islam in the newly formed Muslim state.

In 1947, Muhammad Asad was called by the government of Pakistan to organize and direct a Department of Islamic Reconstruction. After two years, he was transferred to the Pakistan Foreign Service and appointed Head of the Middle East Division in the Foreign Ministry. Later, Asad also served in Pakistan’s Mission to the United Nations in New York.

It was during Asad’s service in New York that his European and American friends began wondering “how a man of Western birth and upbringing could have so fully, and apparently with no mental reservation whatsoever, identified himself with the Muslim world; how had it been possible for him to exchange his Western cultural heritage for that of Islam, and what it was that had made him accept a religious and social ideology, which – they seemed to take for granted – was vastly inferior to all European concepts” (2).

Prompted by an American friend, Asad, first in a joke but later seriously, took up the task to set down the story of his life. In 1952, he resigned from the Pakistan Foreign Service with the goal to write a book that would “lift the heavy veil, which separates Islam and its culture from the Occidental mind … [and] contribute to a mutual understanding between the Islamic and Western worlds” (8). Asad realized that his unique position of a Muslim with western origin gave him a great opportunity “to speak the intellectual languages of both Islam and the West” (8). Thus, this book was born.

The Road to Makkah covers the years of Asad’s life, before he left for India to join Iqbal. He starts out with the early years of his childhood in a Polish city of Lwow, where he spent long hours studying the Jewish scriptures for reinforcing his family heritage. Further, Asad covers the exciting years he spent as a foreign correspondent for Continental newspapers – the time of extensive travels throughout the Middle East. After becoming Muslim in 1926, Asad lived for nearly six years in Arabia, enjoying special favors and close friendship of King Ibn Saud.

The narrative of the book is built in two plains, the primary being Asad’s last desert journey to Makkah in the late summer of 1932 and the secondary – flashbacks to the different stages of his earlier life that led him to finding his spiritual path to Allah – his very own ‘road to Makkah.’

Scenic beauty of Arabia, deeply thoughtful conversations on human nature and principles of Islam, informed comments on the Near Eastern affairs, the inside stories from the King Ibn Saud’s household, a brilliant autobiography and a captivating reading – in The Road to Makkah, you have it all!

Avots: www.hibamagazine.com

"Muslim Heroes" series by Naima Sohaib

Author: Naima Sohaib
Titles: “Aisha (ra) – A Role Model for Muslim Women,”
“Khalid Bin Waleed (ra): The Sward of Allah"
“Umar Bin Abdul Aziz (ra): The Fifth Rightly Guided Caliph”
English translator: Eeman Asif Misbah
Publisher: Sahar Publishers

The history of Islam has had its share of great personalities. Their piety, achievements and exemplary lives have already inspired many generations of Muslims. Keeping this history alive in the hearts of future generations will provide positive role models to emulate and learn from.

Through “Muslim Heroes Series,” translator Eeman Asif Misbah is introducing to the English readers the life stories of prominent personalities in Islamic history. These series is the translation of Naima Sohaib’s “Tareekh-e-Islami ki Azeem Shakhsiat,” a 500-page book in Urdu about twenty renowned Muslim scholars, reformists, revivalists, and caliphs of the last 1400 years.

Naima Sohaib, the author of the original Urdu book, holds Master’s degree in Islamic studies from University of Karachi and B.Sc. in mathematics from Lahore College for Women. She has also written several storybooks for children.

Eeman Asif Misbah is an MBA from Institute of Business Administration, Karachi. She is an expert in human resources management and general administration and has work experience in the financial sector. She converted from Hinduism several years ago, after serious studies of Islam. She is an eager reader of Islamic books, and her passion of learning about great personalities of Muslim history led her to the present translation work.

Presently, the “Muslim Heroes Series” consists of three books: “Aisha (ra),” “Khalid Bin Waleed (ra),” and “Umar Bin Abdul Aziz (ra).” The layouts of all the books follow the same lines, beginning with a general introduction of the personality, followed by chronological description of the lives and achievements.

The series open with Aisha (ra), the beloved wife of the Prophet (saw). Although much is known about this exceptional woman, she was included in N. Sohaib’s book because of her immense contribution to the Deen and exemplary devotion and sincerity towards Allah. The book leads the reader through the different stages of Aisha’s (ra) life: her childhood, her marriage with the Prophet (saw), and her life as a widow and transmitter of the knowledge she had acquired from the Prophet (saw). Separate chapters address also the abilities of Aisha (ra) as the teacher of the Ummah: her depth of knowledge and insight, her interpretation of the Quran and command over the Arabic, and her caution in acceptance of Ahadith.

“Khalid Bin Waleed (ra),” the second book in the series, introduces the greatest of Muslim commanders. His inspiring valor and complete trust on Allah brought him through more than a hundred battles and gave him success in conquering vast areas for the glory of Islam. Besides the great conquests of Khalid (ra), the reader will also learn about his remarkable skills at warfare: psychological tactics, element of surprise, and exploitation of the enemy’s weaknesses.

“Umar Bin Abdul Aziz,” the third book in the series, portrays the life of the fifth rightly guided Caliph. Along with his biography, the book describes Umar’s short two-and-a-half years rule, during which he revived the period of benevolent rule that prevailed during the caliphate of Abu-Bakr Siddique (ra), Umar Farooq (ra), Usman Ghani (ra), and Ali (ra). The reader will also learn about the process of Umar’s reforms: return of usurped wealth, withdrawal of illegitimate taxes, protection of the rights of non-Muslims, improvement of prisons, to mention a few.

“Muslim Heroes Series” will prove itself as excellent reading material for the whole family. Easily accessible language and attractive narrative style will introduce elders as well as teenagers to the exemplary lives of must-know personalities in Islamic history.

Avots: www.hibamagazine.com

"Closer than a Garment" by Muhammad al-Jibaly

Author: Muhammad al-Jibaly
Title: "Closer than a Garment: Marital Intimacy According to the Pure Sunnah" (200 p.)
Publisher: Al-Kitab & As-Sunnah Publishing
Availability:
http://www.simplyislam.com/52931.html (£ 8.95)
http://onlineislamicstore.com/b6202.html ($ 11.95)

“This book is an attempt to brush away many of the deviant ideas regarding sexuality that have crept into the minds and homes of the Muslims, and to present sexuality or intimacy as a pure and beneficent element of a Muslim’s life.”

Adhering to the teachings of the Quran and the guidance of the Sunnah in all aspects of life is the primary responsibility of every Muslim. Nowadays, when Islam has to stand up against the invasion of the western culture, it is especially important to have the right knowledge for sorting though the chaos of information showered on us by newspapers, magazines, the Internet, cable TV and so on. As we witness around the world the decay of family values and the outright denial of any norms regarding the acceptable expressions of sexuality, it is the time to hold closer than ever before to the guidance of Allah.

In “Closer than a Garment: Marital Intimacy According to the Pure Sunnah,” Muhammad al-Jibaly presents the contemporary Muslim reader with Quran and Sunnah based information about the ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ of sexual life in Islam. Al-Jibaly feels that “propagating the true Dawah …is a duty every Muslim should cherish.” Thus, he defines his mission to be to correct beliefs and practices, to invite to the true Deen, to warn against deviant beliefs and practices, and to purify the Sunnah. Al-Jibaly also emphasizes the significance of liberating the Islamic thought and presenting the Islamic solution.

Al-Jibaly tackles the subject of marital intimacy from a practical perspective, taking advantage of his many years long experience in the field of marriage and counseling. His arguments are always accurately articulated and supported by proper references from the Quran and the Sunnah or by the Fatwas of famous Muslim scholars.

The book is divided into nine chapters. The first chapter “Human Sexuality” serves as an introduction to the subject of the book, providing the readers with scientific and empirical information on human sexuality (sexual characteristics, sexual development, psychology of sex, sexual dysfunctions, and sexually transmitted diseases). In the subsequent chapters, Al-Jibaly addresses the following topics from Islamic perspective: etiquettes and prohibited acts of intimacy, ritual bath (Ghusl), the Awrah, Zina and its consequences, perversions and aberrations, and birth control. In addition to references from the Quran and the Sunnah, the chapter on birth control contains also the rulings of such renown scholars as Al-Albani, Ibn Baz, Al-‘Uthaymin, and Al-Fawzan.

Al-Jibaly’s “Closer than a Garment” is the second book of “The Muslim Family” series, with the other three being “The Quest for Love & Mercy: Fiqh of Marriage & Wedding in Islam,” “The Fragile Vessels: Rights and Obligations between the Spouses in Islam,” and “The Precious Sprouts: Islamic Regulations for Newborns.”

Last but not least, you can be sure that Al-Jibaly’s “Closer than a Garment” will have the answers to your questions and will live up to your expectations.

Avots: http://www.hibamagazine.com/

Al-Qarni's books

Author: Aiadh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni
Title 1: “Don’t be Sad” (476 p.)
Title 2: “You can be the Happiest Woman in the World: A Treasure Chest of Reminders” (270 p.)
Publisher: International Islamic Publishing House

“Be happy, at peace and joyful; and don’t be sad.”

Heavy load of responsibilities and increasingly less time for ourselves often leave us quite worn out and spiritually exhausted. Allah (swt) did not promise us a smooth and easy travel through life, for the life of this world is but a test, through which we can prove ourselves worthy of the eternal abode with our Lord. However, Allah (swt) has given us excellent scholars, who with their wisdom and great insights into the Quran and the Prophetic traditions can make our travel through life most pleasant and beneficent. Al-Qarni is one of such scholars, having the beautiful gift of being able to inspire people and fill their souls with the special radiance that comes from keeping eyes focused on the guidance of Allah (swt).

Aiadh ibn Abdullah Al-Qarni was born in 1397 AH. In 1422 AH, he obtained his Doctor’s degree from Imam Muhammad ibn Saud Islamic University. Al-Qarni has written on Hadeeth, Tafsir, Fiqh, Arabic literature, Sirah and biography as well as recorded more than 800 audiocassettes of Khutbahs, lessons, lectures and soirees. Originally written in Arabic, “Don’t be Sad” and “You can be the Happiest Woman in the World” are two of his books, which are now available also for the English readers.

In his introduction to “Don’t be Sad”, Al-Qarni says: “I wrote this book for anyone, who is living through pain and grief or who has been afflicted with a hardship, a hardship that results in sadness and restless nights. For the cure, I have filled the pages of this book with dosages taken from various sources – the Quran, the Sunnah, poetry, poignant anecdotes, parables and true stories.” Although based on the true religion of Allah (swt), Al-Qarni’s “Don’t be Sad” speaks to both Muslims and non-Muslims, since the nature of sorrow and despair crosses the boundaries of faiths. It might be objectionable to some that along with the Quran and the Sunnah the author quotes also Eastern and Western thinkers, but he does so claiming that “wisdom is the goal of every believer, wherever he finds it.”

As the title suggests, “You can be the Happiest Woman in the World” is written for women – Muslim women in particular. “My sister,” Al-Qarni addresses his Muslim reader, “read this book to help you cleanse your mind of the clutter of illusions and devilish whispers and show you the way to a sense of tranquility, faith, joy and happiness. (…) I have presented this book as a treasure chest filled with beautiful ideas, with which you may adorn your life.” Happiness is a treasure every woman strives to find and hold on to, when it’s achieved. Al-Qarni’s recommendations in this book are designed for encouraging the Muslim woman to rejoice in her religion and in the graces that Allah (swt) has bestowed upon her. Words of wisdom and practical advices from real life situations guide the readers of the book to the path of becoming the happiest women on earth.

Both Al-Qarni’s books are presented in an easy to grasp arrangement of chapters, each not longer than a page or two, which make a pleasant read. If at any time of the day you are looking for a dosage of inspiration or some soothing words of wisdom for your soul, take a cup of tea and relax for some minutes, as you read reading through a chapter of “Don’t be Sad” or “You can be the Happiest Woman in the World.”

Avots: http://www.hibamagazine.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=539&Itemid=125

Story of My Reversion

Drīzumā tiks tulkots latviski, inša Allāh.

Daiga (Khadija), a convert Muslim and a mother of five, lives in Latvia, a tiny Eastern-European country. No other Muslims in her hometown, except her. Her unusual ‘virtual’ conversion story and her full of determination new life in Islam are truly manifestations of the most amazing ways Allah (swt) can guide people towards Islam.

(1) What was your experience with religion before you encountered Islam?
Being a Catholic by birth, up till thirty years of age, I truly believed in Catholicism – it was not just a formality. I attended church together with my grandmother and mother and deeply believed in the values Catholicism stood for.

(2) What was it that turned you towards Islam?
It is difficult to pinpoint the very first influences. Around thirty years of age, due to several reasons, I was going through a crisis of personal values. The deceitfulness of Catholicism had extinguished in me the faith in the values I had believed in, and I found myself in some sort of a religious vacuum. I never lost faith in God. I am talking only about the form of religion - about the fall of Catholicism as a religion in my eyes and my heart. Essentially, it was due to the gap between what was preached in church and what was happening in the real life – both in the doctrines of the church and in the lives of the people around me. I was especially deeply affected by some of my mother’s beliefs – this was, most probably, among the strongest reasons that pushed me out of Catholicism.

My first meaningful encounter with Islam (before that it was only curiosity) came through online talks with a Muslim man from Morocco. I had never before met anyone so frank, sincere and clean. It was a great surprise that in today’s world there could be someone so sincere in intentions and thoughts. This made me interested in the reasons that let people keep their thinking and attitude towards life so pure. It was Islam.

(3) Can you describe the time, when you were moving towards Islam? Which angles of Islam influenced you the most and why?
It was not an easy time for me. After years of discords in family life, which ended with a divorce, I felt confused about my feelings and emotions. I had reached the critical point of needing stability – something, which would be permanent and profound. Since my faith in church was lost and the advice of my mother went against my convictions, I needed something to believe in. In Islam I saw what I had been missing – invariable and unchangeable values, stability, peace.

(4) What was the final drop towards accepting Islam?
In a sense, it was like a revelation. At some point, I got the feeling that, yes, this is what really matters. God is One, and things happen with me only by His mercy. Only the trust onto the One gives meaning to my life. When I internally accepted that Islam is what I have been missing, I felt complete happiness. I can say that I know and can describe what happiness is.

(5) How, where and to whom you said your Shahadah?
My Shahada, just like my second marriage, which followed after it, are virtual. I said my Shahadah over the Internet through Skype to my Muslim friend in Morocco and his friend.

(6) How did you begin practicing Islam?
I began practicing Islam right after my Shahadah. I was convinced that if I am a Muslim, then I have to do everything the right way. Initially, before memorizing the text, I was reading my Salah from paper and learned the recitation through computer softwares. I stopped wearing skirts above my ankles. In about a week, I accustomed my work colleagues to the idea that I will be wearing Hijab. On the first day, I came to work with a small scarf covering just my forehead and ears. After a couple days, I put on a small Hijab, which covered my entire head and was tied behind my neck. After a few more days, I was putting on Hijab properly – so that only my face could be seen. I had to start buying my clothes in second-hand store, because only there I found long enough skirts and blouses that were loose fitting and long.

(7) What was the reaction from your family like? And what about your work-place and hometown?
At work I was accepted almost without any comments. When I came in Hijab, somebody asked, if I would be coming now like this always, and I answered – yes. I think colleagues talked about it behind my back, but nobody said anything in front of me. However, they still cannot understand why I refuse to participate in company outings.

Children accepted me. May be because they did not really have a choice. I am the only one, who takes care of them, so they try to respect me. Time to time, I do hear rebukes from my eight-year-old son. He feels hurt that his mom is not like other moms. May be at school somebody has said something or laughed about him.

With my own mom I had (and still have) painful problems. Once, when we accidentally met on the street, my mom could not control herself and began yelling at me. It was a big shock for me, because usually she does not show her emotions openly, not even talking about public places. I got the feeling that I had hurt her so deeply that she would never be able to forgive me. At the moment, our relationship is better, but only till the moment my way of dressing or religion come in question.

In my hometown, I am the only one wearing Hijab. I have heard laughing, cursing and swearing. Even on the Internet I have read remarks that in Jekabpils (Daiga’s hometown) one is going around in ‘those rags.’

(8) Have you had any pleasant surprises after becoming Muslim?
The time, when I daily searched for, found and studied the materials on Islam was truly beautiful. I did not have surprises – it was a steady feeling of happiness. Islam really is a total model of life given to people by Allah (swt). If this model would be adhered to, people would live in harmony. The actual encounter with people in Islam has somewhat deteriorated my notions about Muslims, but not about Islam.

(9) Have you experienced any hurtful incidents because of your conversion?
I do not want to talk about the negative. I have had verbal attacks, painful feeling that my relatives are suffering.

(10) Are you keeping in touch with the local Latvian Muslim Ummah?
As far as I know, in Jekabpils there are no other Muslims except me. I have been a few times in the mosque in Riga (the capital) and attended the Eid celebrations. However, due to several reasons, I cannot attend the events in the mosque on regular basis. I have not met any Muslim for quite long now. Time to time, I correspond with sisters over the Internet. I am really longing to meet other Muslims for refreshing the feeling of unity, for strengthening my Imaan.

(11) Can you tell a little about your second marriage after conversion to Islam?
I divorced my first husband prior to accepting Islam. After becoming Muslim, I realized that I want to have a family in the true sense of this word. Not only my five children, but also a husband. After reading about Islam, I really liked the Muslim family model. I longed for being a good wife and mother.

Since in my surroundings I do not have any Muslims, I put an advertisement in a Muslim matrimonial website www.qiran.com. Letters poured. Initially, I was surprised that among Muslim men there are so many, who are ready to accept me with my five children. Only later I found out that just a small percentage of them have clean intentions. For some time, I was corresponding with quite many Muslim men. The experience ranged from unpleasant to shocking. Then, through the same website, I got a letter from a man in Makkah. He already had a wife and a large family. I was offered to become the second wife. Originally, Abuhamed is from Morocco. He has studied in France and now lives in Makkah. Although he had a degree in engineering, he is committed to studies of Islam and writes books.

After a virtual meeting with Abuhamed, his wife and family, I accepted his proposal. I was given many promises – that soon I would not have to work any more, so that I can become a full-time mother and wife, that he would come to Latvia for getting to know my children and that afterwards we would be able to live in KSA or in any other country of our choice. We were planning that I would help him with online Dawah activities. I was truly delighted!

However, life has put many hurdles in the way of our new family. My husband has dedicated his life to studies of Islam and writing about Islam, while I am working for earning at least a decent living for my children. We have met two times in Istanbul, Turkey. He was refused visa for Latvia. He is continuously asking me to come to Makkah, but how is it practically possible, if I have neither a Mahram to travel with, nor money for buying my ticket? It is also not possible for me to uproot my children from their current lives and ‘throw’ them into a completely different environment than they are used to. I keep praying to Allah (swt) for uniting our family soon.

(12) What is it that keeps you steady on the Path of Allah (swt), despite the difficulties you face?
My relationship with Allah (swt) is guided by internal conviction, not by any external reasons. The difficulties, which come about due to external obstacles, cannot become a reason for doubts in the matters of faith. Faith can get affected only if a person has internal insecurities and lacks confidence in himself/herself.

Source: http://www.hibamagazine.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=category&sectionid=17&id=117&Itemid=215